Whenever I had a big idea in the past, I would actively pursue it for a while and once things got tough I’d give up. My interests are varied. I taught myself how to crochet but have since stopped working on it. I started a garden and grew quite a few vegetables but that garden is now overgrown with weeds. I’ve even started and quit 2 blogs.
I noticed a trend.
I always started but didn’t finish things. One day I sat down to think about this and try to figure out for myself what the heck I was doing and how to stop the pattern.
Everyone wants to live a happy and productive life. I’m no different. But in those moments, while I sat and thought about my negative patterns I realized I was sabotaging my own happiness.
In an effort to help you not make the same mistakes, here are 4 ways to not live the life you want.
1. Procrastinate on Everything
There’s always time to finish. There’s nothing wrong with having multiple interests and learning new things. You have things that need to get done but you can always come back to that later.
2. Make Excuses
Yeah, you didn’t finish a project or you let a deadline slip by but instead of owning up to it and doing better you blame your computer for being slow. Or your kids for distracting you. Or, Game of Thrones is on.
3. Be Best Friends with Self-Doubt and Fear
This trap can be so easy to fall into because sometimes you don’t even realize it’s happening. You are miserable in your current situation but instead of making the effort to change it, you let the little voices in your head convince you it’s not possible, you don’t have what it takes. They say eventually everything is going to go wrong and you believe them so you don’t try at all.
4. Loving Your Comfort Zone
It’s familiar. It’s less threatening so you should embrace it with all you’re worth. That trip overseas, where you will have to go through two airports and deal with people who probably don’t speak English, you don’t really want to go now, do you? And who knows what kind of illness you could pick up. The beach probably ain’t even that pretty.
If this is you then you are well on your way to being stuck and miserable. But if you are like me and you no longer want to stay stuck in your current situation, then it’s time to do something about it.
While it’s next to impossible to get rid of fear and self-doubt, you can learn to deal with them. Elizabeth Gilbert, in her book Big Magic, said you can’t get rid of fear but you can learn to live with it and not let it take control of your life and day to day activities.
Fear and self-doubt don’t get a say in what’s going to happen.
With the other bad habits, it all takes time and a small steps to turn the negative habits into positive ones. Set small goals and reward yourself when you accomplish them. Do something you normally would shy away from.
Stepping out of your comfort zone might be nerve racking at first but like learning to live with your fear and self-doubt, don’t let it limit you. You will learn to ignore the little flips your stomach does when you do something for the first time or that makes you a little uncomfortable.
It’s all a part of growing as an individual. You are reaching to become the new you. Developing new habits takes consistency. The effort you put in will be well worth it in the long run.
Are you sabotaging your own happiness? What steps are you taking to live the life you really want?